Jitters

This time of year I always get mildly jittery. Even though it's been a long time since I've been in school, the first day of school was almost always a time of transition for me. From pre-K to post high school I spent approximately every other school year at a new school. It can be formidable walking into a new school where seemingly everyone has grown up together, clicks are long formed, friendships forged, and the hardest part - everyone already has a buddy to sit with at lunch.

Even the years I was far removed from school, no kids, year round job, all grown up with a mortgage and retirement plan, I still got a twinge toward the end of August.  It's been decades since I learned to embrace the challenge of a new situation, you have to if you want to survive lunch that first day, and yet for a few days this time of year the jitters linger on.

With this in mind I tried to tread lightly this week when FFM started getting a bit introspective.  He's been asked a lot about when school starts, is he excited about school, where he's going to school, who is teacher is, and he's answered the best he can. Granny Annie, knowing our grueling schedule of pre-first day ice-cream socials, open houses, and meet and greets, asked FFM when he would get to go to school (this is why it's been hard to explain exactly when the first day is).  After trying to answer and not knowing quite what to say poor FFM plopped down on the stairs with a befuddled look on his face.  Granny Annie had to dash so we said our goodbyes and I set out to sort out the kiddo.

Me, "F, how are you feeling about Kindergarten?  Happy or sad?  Excited or worried?  Is everything OK?

"Yes, I'm OK." Pause. Pained expression. Definitely does not look OK. "I just don't know when school starts."

"Oh, well today is Thursday and your first actual day of school will be next Thursday. That's one week from now."

F, "That's not very far away.  That's on the next chore chart, right?" He measures time by his weekly chore charts.

"Yes, next chore chart."

Giant, BEAMING smile, all tension leaving his body.

F, "Oh that's SOON!  I'm glad, it's not very many days away!  I'm ready to go now!"

We all get jitters, it's just totally opposite ends of the spectrum jitters.