I prefer 2-ply, thank you

I just walked into the bathroom and found FFM eating a roll of toilet paper. Usually he just pulls all the paper off the roll and strews it all over the floor. This morning he was eating a nearly new roll just like it was a bread roll. Yummy. (normally the door is closed but he has super 11 month old bathroom door radar and if I leave it open for 1.2 nanoseconds he's in there playing with the tp).